My life is a musical!

I am a Jellical cat, if I was ever to believe in reincarnation this would be a compelling reason! God on high Hear my prayer In my need You have always been there What's going on around me Is barely making sense I need some explanations fast Everybody's playing the game But nobody's rules are the same Nobody's on nobody's side Better learn to go it alone Recognize you're out on your own Nobody's on nobody's side When I was nine I learned survival Taught myself not to care I was my single good companion Taking my comfort there Up in my room I planned my conquests On my own - never asked for a helping hand No one would understand Pity the child who has ambition Knows what he wants to do Knows that he'll never fit the system Others expect him to Close every door to me Hide all the world from me Bar all the windows And shut out the light Do what you want with me Hate me and laugh at me Darken my daytime And torture my night If my life were important I Would ask will I live or die But I know the answers lie Far from this world See my eyes, are they safe are they even sane? Are they warm when they seem to greet you? You don't know, you can't tell, but it should be plain These are eyes that are gonna beat you I don't care if you're a champion No one messes with me I am ruthless in upholding What I know is right Black or white -- as you'll see I'm on the case Can't be fooled Any objection Is overruled Yes I'm the Arbiter and I know best If I speak, I am condemned. If I stay silent, I am damned! Who am I? Can I conceal myself for evermore? Pretend I'm not the man I was before? And must my name until I die Be no more than an alibi? Must I lie? How can I ever face my fellow men? How can I ever face myself again? My soul belongs to God, I know I made that bargain long ago He gave me hope when hope was gone He gave me strength to journey on I don't know how to love him. What to do, how to move him. I've been changed, yes really changed. In these past few days, when I've seen myself, I seem like someone else.